i get that writers block, it comes as quite a shock.

every now and again my thoughts subside and leave the gap between my ears empty. the reasons for this deceit escape me, although a friend told me "it could be a sign that your happy and not thinking loads". even for that day I miss my over analytical mind.

However the happiness doesn't disappoint. The fact the smile on my face is there because I want to smile not because I'm meant to. The idea that the happiness inside is caused by happy people, and not by the denial of bad thoughts, just to spite the bitterness inside me. Happiness is addictive and contagious.

this, in the words of my friend this is a "good sign"

a short but sweet post.
goodnight.

no inspiration

means no blog.

the things i used to know.

ever felt like you shouldn't be some where, even in a place so common knowledge to you. A place which you used to call your own, until it was changed. Maybe only changed for you, no physical differences, but you're emotional attachment has been slashed apart from it. Yeah? its a common feeling I think.

you find your self sitting, still, staring at the place you used to know. Watching people you've never met claim it as there own. You watch your life there lock its self away in the back of your mind. The memories you hold of it creep into boxes and crates in your internal storage unit.

you remember the way you used to be when you lived there, you remember the way everything way. The way it smelled, the way it felt. Your thoughts play on repeat as you stare at the cracks and crevices' which you used to hold so dear.

Photos fade, memories last.

i've found reasons.

its funny isn't it. one person saying simple words can completely change the way you look at your life. A friend of mine took time out of his day to talk to me, his simple words dance around my head even now. We talked in some detail about how much life can screw you over, we talked about the heartache we had both felt, and the things in our life which haven't gone any where near planned. But throughout the midst of this conversation we discovered that, when you think about it. I mean really think about it, life really isn't that bad. Despite what's happened through out the life I'm living out now, entwined with all the sadness and pain that's been forced upon me, smiles and laughter ring true.

Take a step out of your body and look at it, stare at it in the face and notice, you're surrounded by people who, although they don't always show it, care tremendously about you. You're enveloped by family who love you because they want to, not just because you're there family. You're smothered by people telling you that they're "always here for you". Take a step out, and realise.

Although deep down you always know it, it is very easily forgotten and neglected. It takes a conversation to bring it back to you, and another conversation to pass it on and to confirm it.

You're life is the longest thing you'll ever experience, and its not always going to be good, but by remember what you've always known, and holding on to the love around you. You'll get through it.

thank you Dan and Emma, for helping me remember.

i'm meant to be happy for you.

it hurts that you're smile isn't for me any more. that all the things you used to tell me, mean nothing to you any more, that i mean nothing to you any more. But what hurts the most is that you can look, and laugh, and love like you did before, but yet i'm left like this. I'm left feeling jealous, and angry. With a forced smile plastered on my face. I'm meant to be happy for you. But how can I be?

because every day, is alex day.

recently i've been getting quite into the work of a guy named Alex Day, known on youtube as Nerimon. I've decided that the world needs to know about this man, as his voice alone makes me happy. He's a singer and a 'vlogger' (a video blogger)

His music ranges from ones about pokemon and sonic, to ones about candyfloss and eyelashes. Check him out, and let me know what you think.

Other than listening to him, today i've done nothing. Its been a good day, extremely relaxed. I like days like this because you can just fall into the pace of it. When you've got no priority's you can very easily lose your self in time. A concept I don't disagree with. Everyone needs a break now and then, and when better but on a lazy, sunny, saturday.

keep smiling. keep happy.

how's life?

a simple question. with powerful answers.
I'm sure you've seen the child line adverts "this isn't a train ticket, this a chance for a 9year old boy to tell me he's being bullied" that sort of thing.
how's life can be passed off so nonchalantly with a simple, 'alright'. But in some cases its a recognition of the crap day you've had.

Today though, has gone surprisingly well. Although a good lunch ended on a bad note, it was followed by a relaxed lesson filled with a deflating Amy and music blasting. Perfect way to end a Friday school day.

This is my first post, but i'm sure i'll be back

keep smiling.